Growing up as a child I knew about Jesus, but I never really understood him. Many people would tell me that he loved me and that he was always with me, but I never really believed it. Throughout my life up until now, I would say that I knew of Jesus, but I never felt that connection with him. There was a time however when I was 12 that I felt the peace and Love of Jesus. Sadly, this bliss did not last long as I continued on with my life only focusing on what I wanted. As my life started to reach difficult seasons, I depended solely on myself. My motto was, “It’s not anyone’s problem but my own,” and I strongly believed that I could get through anything because of the person I was. But as life got more and more difficult, I started to become overwhelmed. I felt as if I had to balance everything all at once and I had no one to help me. After having one of the most difficult years of my life last year I finally surrendered myself to Jesus. I laid out all of my anxiety, shame, guilt, and fear to my Savior. This surrender was not easy as I had to cut out many things in my life that were causing me to be separated from God. I also had some difficult months where I felt I wasn’t worthy of his love or that I was a lost cause. I soon learned that Jesus doesn’t have a criteria for his Love. I came to understand that he died for me. A lowly sinner. Jesus did not come down and die for the perfect. He came down to save those who were of sin. Through repentance to Jesus, I was able to forgive myself for my past mistakes and also forgive those who hurt me. I was able to feel his Love but this time it was 10x times better. After feeling this Love I knew I just wanted to continue to get closer to him so I started to do a Catholic 90-day program called “Exodus 90” which helped me get even closer to God. In this program, I had to sacrifice many things in my life that I had become dependent on. Some of the sacrifices include cold showers, no movies or media, no sweets, no secular music, and many other things. It was very difficult at first, but I have now been able to get over my attachment to those things. Fasting is also a great practice that I have started to do. Fasting helps me depend solely on God and even when it gets difficult, I’m able to focus on him. Every day is another chance to get closer to him. I finally understood what people were talking about. Jesus Christ does Love me. Jesus Christ is always with me.

“My God Hears me,

He hears my cry for mercy,

He hears my soul’s anguish,

As my Father said,

All those who seek me will find eternal life,

I will continue to seek,

I seek the life and the truth,

The living God who hears his children,

The Father who awaits me,

Behold the Glory of God,

None compare,

I will continue to sacrifice,

I only want his Love,

His Love frees me from despair,

I will continue to call on him,

My Father,

My King,

My God,

Please never leave my side.

Amen.”

Lance Austin Hubert Jr, SFC '24